Brownie's Foggy Blog

Mostly boring, sometimes insightful, always inane, often banal, but never, ever, anything but the truth about how I see the world.

Name:
Location: Fort Wayne, Indiana, United States

I am a loud mouth at times, other times meek. I wonder at the world, but know not what I seek.

Friday, July 28, 2006

The Party(s) of Fear

The left has been accusing the Republicans of using fear as a way to keep the American people in line for some time now. All the talk of terrorists, the color-coded alert system, etc. All so they can keep their war for their oil buddies going and keep oil prices high...

They may be right.

But the Republicans are not the only party in this country willing to use fear as weapon to get their way. The left has said, rather loudly in fact, that the Republicans, and Dubya in particular, "don't care about black people."

Maybe.

But the fact is, despite the fear-mongering the left has done, a far-right controlled House and Republican controlled Senate, and an oft-maligned neo-con Prez have passed, and as of yesterday, signed into law, the voters right act, extending it another 25 years, keeping in place--untouched-- the stringent oversights of southern states voting procedures.

You may still think the right doesn't care about people of color, I certainly won't change your mind about it, just take a minute and look.

Actions speak louder than words. And make up your own mind. Just be sure you see that fear is a weapon that neither patry is willing to part with in their quest for power.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Flashes from the Mid-Life Crisis

"Hi, what's your name, cutie?"

She looks suspicious. "Christine. Can I help you?"

"I think I love you."

She sighs inaudibly. "How about a pair of headphones."

"What are you doing Saturday night?"

Her eyes roll. "Committing suicide."

He pauses. "What about Friday night?"

Christine walks away.

"Okay! I'll take the headphones."

But his credit card's already maxed.

(Yeah, ok. So I lifted the best part from Woody. At least I'm giving him credit. )

-------------------------------------------------

But really.
This is how it goes.
One. Two. Three.
Down for the count.
Out go the lights.
In one ear and out the other.
Should I buy a new car?
Go to a therapist? Not that kind-- a massage therapist. Wait a minute...
Get lipo?
Dump my wife? Wait...I'm not married.
Hook up with a woman 16 years my junior (sounds vaguely familiar)?
Do more pushups?
Crunches?
Go for an extremely long walk?
Cash in my chips and call it even?
Get down on my knees?
Get a new job (this one don't pay too good nohow)?
Swallow the prescription?
Move to Ibiza?
Live on the government tit?
Let a bottle suck out my life?
Pull out my hair (what's left of it)?
Join the hair club for men?
Join the hari krishna's?
Become a satanist?
Dance in the nude?
Spit at the stars?
Cry like a baby?
Stand up?
Sit down?
Toil endlessly on a fruitless search for meaning?
Slice up my arms (just to pick off the scabs)?
Play my guitar?
Write a new song?
Finish my book?
Walk on my hands?
Forget I ever existed?
Turn my back on myself?
Tail a cop?
Call him a pig?
Clean my guns?
Take a long bath?
Smell the divine wind?
Search for a virgin?
Pound my head on the wall?
De-gravitate?
Learn to imitate?
Sublimate?

Sigh.

-------------------------------

If, for some reason, the world should stop spinning
Maybe then I'll feel like I'm winning.
If my soul is excreted and hangs from a rusty old door hinge
Maybe then, at last, I'll feel like peeeling an orange.

(didn't think it could be done, did you? Take that.)

----------------------------

Symbolism shmibolism.
I need a new outlook.

Not a new car.
Not a new body.
Not some more hair (it's coming out my ears).
Not a wife or girlfriend.
Not a way to boost my self-image.

Just a new outlook.
A new way to see.
Another in a long line of seekers
--unseen.

Monday, July 17, 2006

The Long Defeat (or, The Meaning of Life: Forever Hidden)

This is something I really dread to write of...but here goes.

What's the freakin' point?

If, as it states in Ecclesiastes, that "all is vanity and striving after wind," then why do anything? If, as Tolkien's Galadriel said, "we have fought the long defeat," then why keep fighting? If love, passion, and beauty all fade; if songs, plays, and poems all loose their appeal; if the routine of life becomes an endless weariness; if the vigour of youth is replaced by the infimity of antiquity; if joy turns to suffering; if brotherhood inevitably gives way to war; if our memories dissappear into the gray mists of time; if all that lives must surely die; then why?

Why do we exist? Why do we go on? Why do we love? Why do we still have hope?

Could I possibly ask a series of questions more impossible to answer? Maybe.

Why do we exist? I've heard lots of explanations and theories. From the theory that suggests we are a big cosmic mistake, or the result of a series of highly unlikely coincidences; to the theory that we are God's children put here by Him. I like the second one better. I don't feel as lonely that way.

Why do we go on (in the face of all that negative crap I listed above)? This one's a little more difficult for me, because going on is, objectively speaking, hopeless. We are, without a shadow of a doubt, worm fodder. Daisy food. Coal in highly immature state of development. To be honest, I think we go on for no better reason than: it's habit (or, if you like, the survival instinct). We live through all the crap to get to the end because we have nothing better to do, or we haven't yet realized how hopeless this life truly is (Galadriel's curse of immortality: knowing that all your years of effort will STILL end in defeat).

Why do we love? This one's fairly easy. Because we can. It makes us feel good. It procreates the species. But what about other, more sublime forms of love? Platonic love, brotherly love, neighborly love? These are a little more difficult. Resultants mostly, I believe, of someone having too much time on their hands and coming up with a philosophy that says this kind of behavior is something we should strive for. Not that I disagree with those views, au contriare, but in the most objective sense, I still must consider the simpler or more cynical view more likely.

Why do we still have hope? We are either stupid or deluded. Or maybe...just maybe...there is something worth living for. Unfortunately for me, I have not, in all my travels, internal or exernal, found it.

Guess I'll just have to keep looking.

Namárië!

Liar, Liar, Pants of Fire!

Announcer: In this corner, we have the pre-emminent lefty, the float-like-a-butterfly sting-like-a-bee boxer with long, gangly arms, quick-thinking, ever-ready to spot the opening and reach far through his opponents defenses.

And in this corner, we have the 800-pound gorrilla of a righty, a jaw of granite, a mid-section like iron, but slow...ever so slow to change direction, or to duck his opponenets quick jabs.

Ned: Well fans, the fight is set! As it ever has been. But who's gonna win? Hard to say, Josh. But in the end...I'll place my bet on what must seem the most unlikely of outcomes. They'll knock each other out at exactly the same moment and we'll end up with a vacancy in the champion's corner.

Josh: Could be.

Ned: And there's the bell! Righty immediately throws a big, looping round-house punch that drops Lefty to the canvass. It seems he's got the crowd on his side, they're all cheering and waving their banners. Have you ever seen anything like this, Josh?

Josh: A few times.

Ned: Lefty's a little slow to get back up...looks a little wobbly...he just beats the count! Nearly a knock-out in the first round!

Josh: Knew it'd never happen.

Ned: Maybe, maybe. But my bet's still safe. Alrighty. Lefty seems to be getting his balance back, finally. But it seems he wants to keep his distance now. He's bobbing and weaving, throwing a few jabs when he can, but they're not even coming close. And there's the bell! What an exciting first round!

Josh: Yeah.

Ned: Let's take a listen into lefty's corner...

"Don't worry about the fans. We'll get 'em back on our side. Soon enough. Keep your distance, for a while yet, but keep him guessin'. Throw a few jabs once in a while, and maybe we'll get lucky."

Ned: Sounds like a safe strategy, if not very aggressive.

Josh: I think he'll get lucky.

Ned: Maybe. And there's the bell! Round two's underway. Righty comes out swinging again. A huge miss! And...what's this? His trunks have fell down!

Josh: I think lefty pulled them down, Ned.

Ned: I'm not so sure about that, Josh. But everyone can see his big, rosy backside. There seems to be a rather large tatoo there. What's it say?

Josh: Umm....where's my Diet Coke?

Ned: Looks like...No WMD's! What's that mean?

Josh: Hmm?

Ned: Never mind. The crowd seems stunned. A hush has fallen over the auditorium. There are still a few banners waving, but most of the folks are just standing with mouth's agape. Lefty's taking advantage of the moment, and he's moved inside. Wow! A series of quick body blows, as Righty was trying to pull up his trunks, and he leanin' on the ropes. Some in the crowd have changed sides. Let's take a listen.

"Hit him in the face! Knock him out!"

Ned: Doesn't seem to be making much difference. He's ignoring Righty's head, but he's really punishing his midsection.

Josh: Righty's head's too hard. Good stategy.

Ned: Maybe, maybe. Righty's got his trunks pulled back up, most of the anyway, and he's finally got his guard back up. But he's taken a heck of a lot of punishment to the body. He seems out of breath. Lefty, in the mean-time, is just floating and bouncing around the ring, totally re-invigorated. And there's the end of the second round! Righty's slow to find his corner. Lefty doesn't even want a chair.

Josh: How many rounds is this fight?

Ned: Just three, Josh. What do you make of it so far?

Josh: Hmmm...

Ned: That's why you get paid the big bucks.

Josh: Paid?

Ned: We'll talk about it later. There's the bell! Both fighters come out swinging! What action! I've never seen anything like it! Wait a moment, Lefty's down again!

Josh: He tripped.

Ned: I think you're right, Josh, but the referee's still giving him the standing eight. What's this Righty is refusing to go to a neutral corner. Whoooaaa! He just pulled Lefty's shorts to ankles.
I don't rightly believe what I'm seeing! Lefty's got a big ole tatoo on his backside as well. Only his says: WMD's.

Josh: Just the opposite.

Ned: Thanks, Josh, I can read. What do you supoose?

---------------------------------------

What do you suppose? The hawks spoke about the dangers of WMD's in Saddam's hands before, and in fact this was his main argument for invading Iraq.

After a year or so, the doves came to the conclusion there were no WMD's in Iraq and the war was about oil. Or just plain evil-doing on the hawks part.

Now, we have declassified DoD documents floating around that say there have been scores of munitions found with Sarin gas, Mustard gas, even some IED's rigged from these shells, one of which was detonated. Exposed personell were characterized as having "classic mustard gas symptoms." And tons of slighty-enriched (not yet weapons-grade) uranium have been found and confiscated as well.

What do you suppose? Is the left ignoring these documents because they destroy their favorite argument against the war in Iraq? Did the right plant these documents to fight the constant body blows the left was inflicting through the media?

Josh: Could be either.

I agree. It could be either way.

But at the beginning of the Iraq war, my feeling was that the WMD's would be hidden, just as the Iraqi's had done for the entire period of 1991-2003. Either buried in the desert, or stored in private homes (where some of the munitions were reportedly found, according to the declassified DoD documents), or sent to Arab neighbors like Syria or Iran. (Has everyone forgotten that more than half of the Iraqi Air Force fled to Iran in Gulf War I?)

Still. Could be either way.

But only one of them is the truth. Whether we like how that truth plays out or not.

Saturday, July 08, 2006

What Must Be

I remember it very clearly: the moment I told my mother I would never get married. I don't know exactly how old I was at the time. Six or seven maybe. And I don't know why I said it. It just kind of popped out. And as I am still single to this day, (I am 42, and the chances of getting married are sliming with each passing day, though I, myself am not) it seems the prophecy I spoke so long ago was just that. A true prophecy.

Where did it come from? This momentary glimpse far into the future. I don't think anyone can say for sure (I know I can't), but it is undeniable (in my mind) that a few things (not all) are set in stone, and if for some reason we are allowed to peek at some of these things, even at the unconscious level, and if we are perceptive enough, (I think children, with their low order of experience, are extremely so) we may grasp that moment of clarity sufficiently to speak it out loud.

Many speak of the self-fulfilling prophecy. That if we hear or speak what we believe to be our destiny, and the idea stays with us, then we work (consciously or not) to fulfill it. Does that make it less supernatural? Even if self-fulfillment is the only (true) explanation for my own experience, it still does not explain where the initial notion came from. That moment of pure revelation. It rang in my mind like a clear bell. And I spoke it. Without a moment's preponderance.

There is only one other moment in my life that compares to that moment of revelation so long ago. In 1991, I was hiking with a group of friends in Colorado along the river in Eleven Mile Canyon, about 60 miles west of Colorado Springs. It was a beautiful summer day-- warm and clear. I was bringing up the rear, as our party (about 8 of us) scrambled upstream over the boulders that hemmed in the roaring whitewater of the Platte (or is it the Tarryall?) River.

I glanced up just in time to see the lead member of our party slip on a rock and fall headlong into the river. He was probably 150 yards ahead and 30 feet above my position, so the water was really moving. At the time, it struck me odd that no one was jumping in to help him out, the others just stood and watched, with mouths agape, as he was swept headfirst and face-up over the first of about three small waterfalls. I wasn't thinking I guess. If they'd jumped in after him, their fates would have undoubtedly been the same. Whoosh! Over the second falls he fell. Then the third. Within only a few seconds (it seemed) he was nearly at my position.

I don't remember thinking: "I'm the last guy here, I'd better jump in and grab him before he's lost." Not at all. To my surprise, I was already in the water, one hand clinging to a log against the raging power of the water, and the other snatching him up by the back of his shirt and practically throwing onto the shore. I stood and looked at him from the water as he tried to catch his breath on the rocky shore. His face was a ghostly pale. His eyes gaped like saucers. Smashing into and over the rocks had slashed a wide gash across his chin and it had a retarded flow of blood oozing from it, slowed no doubt by the icy mountain waters.

I felt nothing as I looked at him. I did not even feel present. Who'd plucked him from the water? Why was I wet? I'd made no decision to jump in, of that I was sure. Yet all the evidence pointed to the fact that it was indeed me who'd done this thing. The others soon crowded around him trying to help, but for some reason, I had not the sense to get out of the water myself. Who or what had put me there? It was an altogether confounding experience.

What is it that motivates a man and moves his body into doing something he knows instinctively puts his own life in danger? I wish I knew. But I know one thing. It was the same thing that told me I would never marry. The washing away of self, the surrender of the will, the immersion in a moment so complete so as to strip away any doubt about fact or action. Is it instinct? Is it God? The collective unconscious? Karma? I have inklings...

I think there are things that were meant to be. Whether we decide to do them or not. And I feel there is something else coming soon. I can't say what it is just yet. But the feeling is building. Soon it will wash over me again like it did twice before. Whether it will be another prophecy, or another action that concerns me directly I can't say for sure. Not yet. But this time it feels different--bigger. More external. Like the water rushing out of the bay before the tsunami strikes. I wish I could say more about it.

I will, when I know, but then it may be too late.

Que sera, sera.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Muse

A muse is a funny thing.
A whirly-gig on my shoulder.
A time pig.

Amuse me!

She soars in song
Borne upon the ceaseless winds
Of my soul.

She teases me
With fleeting fancy
I'll never know;
And burns from within:
The scraps of notions
She did not inspire.

The love and loathing
Of her coming and going,
Stills my feet-
Yet moves me.

Such a funny thing.
Whirly-gig.
Time Pig.

A snow-white vision of crimson
and sapphire-
Drapes me in wayward green.

And so she comes-
uncalled for-
Her song draws me in-
And swallows me,
In the rip tide
Of her.

Did I say: "A Funny Thing" ?
No more!




by
M.K. Brown
copyright 2006

Aragorn the Wimp (and Everything Else)

Long have writers who adapt books for the big screen taken the mantle upon themselves to shift plots, change locations, and to tinker with characters and their motivations in an attempt to make the story "filmable," "watchable," or " to make it flow better." In many cases, the entire story is re-adapted and set in a completely different world as it were. To wit: The Taming of the Shrew --> Ten Things I Hate About You. And I suppose there is nothing especially wrong with this practice, as long as the screenwriter is aware of, and honest about, what he/she is doing. But I have a bone to pick with Peter Jackson, Fran Walsh and Phillipa Boyens, the co-screenwriters of the recent film adaptation of J.R.R. Tolkien's classic novel: The Lord of the Rings.

First let me say, in their defense, I think they did a fine job with the films overall, sticking to the most important, touching and recurring themes of the novel. However, what they did to Aragorn is something altogether different, (and perhaps--just perhaps, it was done unconsciously--which in itself is scary, but I'm getting ahead of myself). They reduced him to a doubting, visionless ghost of the stronger, more confident Aragorn penned by Tolkien. But why?
First, let's look at some of the glaring differences between Tolkien's Aragorn and Jackson's.

From the first few moments after we meet Aragorn in the book, it becomes clear he is man with a bold plan, sure of his place in the world, with the ability, foresight and (God forbid!) ambition to set about the task of re-claiming his birthright: the throne of men.

In the book, when Samwise challenges him in their room in the Prancing Pony, Strider immediately draws out the greater shard of Narsil, which he carries with him at all times. He even manages to make light of how silly it seems, drawing the broken blade, even on a Hobbit, but still he is not ashamed of his birthright. In the film, he shuns the very touch of the shards, and even refuses to carry them. Still, in the film, he does hold the Shards of Narsil in great regard, too much perhaps, as if they were worthy of some worshipful reverence, yet his face, laced with a pained self-loathing, speaks of the Jacksonian Argorn's shame and doubt over his lineage. Hardly the case in the book.

Then worst of all, we have Aragorn setting out on the quest without the reforged Anduril. In the book, he offers his service (by the power of the sword of Elendil, now reforged) to Boromir and Minas Tirith, and all but accepts the crown of the King of Gondor at the counsel of Elrond! Not the case in the movie, where his ambitious nature is played down to nearly nothing. In fact, even the siege of Gondor does not seem enough to motivate him to carry Anduril. Rather it's his love for a "dying" Arwen that seems to tip the balance in the film.

OK. So what? What difference does it make? (you may ask)

My answer: none really. Other than it points to some very interesting observations that can be made about how attitudes have changed in the world since the 1940's, when the greater portion of LOTR was written.

First, we must be aware that Tolkien was penning more than just a fantasy novel. As professor of Anglo-Saxon at Oxford, his interests were steeped in the northern European languages, legends, myths and folklore. One might say that LOTR was an attempt to tie many of these fragmented "faerie stories" into a single grand work, piecing together a kind of long lost epic history for Northern Europe, and England in particular. We see this clearly when we acknowledge the fact that he lifted many scenes, and location & character names (especially in Rohan) directly from these older works (such as Beowulf). And the names of the twelve dwarves in Thorin's Company in The Hobbit came directly from an ancient Norse writing. As did the name: Gandalf. Considering all this, it should be clear that a love-lorn, doubting, self-loathing, would-be king is hardly in keeping with something one would expect to read about in Beowulf or The Kalevala. So instead, we get a strong, confident (soon to be) king from Tolkien, in keeping with the tradition of those epic legends.

So then, why do we get such a (relatively) wimpy Aragorn in Jackson's version? The easy answer is that the changes made the story more palpable to the modern movie-going palate, more tension-filled and therefore more exciting for "us," the audience. Was the reason they played up the love interest with Arwen (rather than the true Aragorn's ambitions to reclaim the throne) simply a monetary one? "Sure LOTR will bring in the sci-fi/fantasy geeks, but how do we keep the women interested? I know! Let's bring Arwen out of the appendices and make a love-story sub-plot! Perfect!"

Still, there could be something else behind all this.

Could it be that the social changes in the west have been so dramatic as to make the original Aragorn appear too much like Sauron? Ambitious, almost too confident? Or is it that he might appear too much like real-life characters? Like say...Nixon...or Stalin? And not enough like the very recognizable half-neutered, wishy-washy, metrosexual "heroes", that we have become all too familiar with in modern popular culture?

The strong, heroic figure is all but gone from modern culture. Not necessarily a completely bad thing, for they too have their blindnesses and faults. But should they be done away with altogether? Is it really that bad to have maybe one or two white males show a little spine, and trustworthyness from time to time? Or have we all become to comfortable with the neomasculanglophobicism so in vogue these days.

Try watching television programs and commercials or listening to the radio with open ears for a week or two and it should be come rapidly apparent (if you really listen) that men, especially white men, have become the red-headed step children of today. They are taken out behind the wood shed and given a proper verbal beating on an hourly basis. They are made sport of constantly: belittled and insulted, never given the benefit of the doubt, and constantly accused of being stupid, moronic, over-sexed pigs without a moral, trustworthy, or intelligent bone in their body.

Does this sound familiar or alien to you? If you are a gen-x'er (or later) it probably just sounds like I'm a silly, angry white male myself (perhaps). But if you study history, or are over the age of 70, it should all ring an ugly, mis-shaped bell. For there was a time in America when this type of shamless, idiotic stereotyping in the media was aimed at African Americans, Asian Americans, Aboriginal Americans, etc., without remorse and without condemnation (See: Amos and Andy, Sambo's restaraunts, early Hollywood type casting, early westerns, early 20th century folk art from all parts of the country, etc). But we went through a period of great strife in this country to try to remove those types of attitudes and behaviors, with varying degrees of success. But people change slowly. Unfortunately, the need to look down on others seems to be inherint in the human make-up. A need to feel superior to someone else. And this has certainly not been driven from us by the civil rights movement or this new age of political correctness, it is only the target that has changed. Now it's white men.

Maybe it's just our turn, time for the Fateful Finger of Misfortune to point at us. If so, I can live with that. But I still think we are responsible for our actions, no matter how "deserving" we may believe a group of people are for they're being maltreated.

And so, for continuing the malicious circle of mistrust we owe a few thanks. I think we can begin by thanking the feminist movement. (Which is silly really, where would the feminine be without the masculine? Dead. Unprocreated. That's where.) Then we can move on to thank people like Nixon and Hitler and Stalin for being such fine examples of despicable human beings. We can thank Watergate, the Vietnam War, cocaine, the porn industry, the New York Times, Liberalism, Conservatism, Maoism, the Christian Apostasy, Hugh Hefner, Ronald Reagan, Joseph McCarthy, FDR, JFK, Dubya, the moral relativists, and a few million nameless others, but to be perfectly succinct: we can thank ourselves. Because they are we, and we are they.

We are the ones who tolerate the constant targeting of them. They are bad. They are stupid. They are not welcome. They are going to destroy us. They hate us, so we should hate them.

To this I say: Hate destroys only the Hater.

So the next time you laugh at a commercial in which a male is made sport of by being a stereotypically white American male, ask yourself: if this commercial stereotyped blacks or Asians or Latinos, would you still be laughing? Would you feel comfortable doing so at work, in front of your boss? I wonder...