Dear God...
Maybe since the internet age is upon us, Thou hast decided not to listen to vocal prayers and has decided only take them over the net. I don't have thy email address (I tried god@heaven, but only got a response from a daemon), so I hope thou art a dedicated blog reader. If that is indeed thy thing, then there's a few things I'd like to ask thee for.
Would you please heal my back?
Would you please keep my mind off dying?
Would you please help me find a publisher for my book?
Would you please help me pay off my debts by helping me find a job?
Would you please help me get some compensation through the VA appropriate to the amount of sacrifice I made and suffering I have endured on behalf of my country?
Would you please bless all my friends and their families, and my family and their families?
Would you please let the light of your peace shine in the hearts of all those around the world who would do violence to their neighbors?
Would you please answer my prayers?
Would you please forgive the snarkiness of this blog post (along with the rest of my inummerable shortcomings, weaknesses, poor choices, and sins)?
Your hopeful servant,
Brownie
Would you please heal my back?
Would you please keep my mind off dying?
Would you please help me find a publisher for my book?
Would you please help me pay off my debts by helping me find a job?
Would you please help me get some compensation through the VA appropriate to the amount of sacrifice I made and suffering I have endured on behalf of my country?
Would you please bless all my friends and their families, and my family and their families?
Would you please let the light of your peace shine in the hearts of all those around the world who would do violence to their neighbors?
Would you please answer my prayers?
Would you please forgive the snarkiness of this blog post (along with the rest of my inummerable shortcomings, weaknesses, poor choices, and sins)?
Your hopeful servant,
Brownie
1 Comments:
I know why your email to God bounced back. You left the domain code (.com) off of the address.
The question is: is heaven a commercial enterprise (.com), an organization (.org), a government entity (.gov), an educational institution (.edu)?
Or maybe they use a location code: .he for heaven, .pg for pearly gates, .ni for nirvana, (Unfortunately, .pg is already taken for Papau New Guinea and .ni is taken for Nicaragua.)
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